What does it really mean to follow Christ? Some would say it starts when a person gives up control of their own life and commits to God’s direction. Whether or not that level of surrender is required for salvation, it’s certainly key to stepping into the life God desires for us – a satisfying life full of adventure, purpose, and wholeness.
That kind of surrender and fullness is what Wyatt Ledman embraced when he realized his recreational drug use had taken control of his life. Wyatt is an inspirational example of how God transforms our lives when we decide to truly obey Him.
Wyatt was your typical upper middleclass kid. He had good parents; he was raised with morals and a healthy lifestyle. He was happy, had lots of friends, he was good at school, and he was popular. His trouble started with longboarding (downhill skateboarding). It’s a good sport, but unfortunately marijuana is especially popular in that hobby.
Wyatt has always been a nonconformist in some ways, and he wanted to do more extreme things than the stereotypical suburbanite experience.
However, Wyatt fell right in line with the skateboarding stereotype and started smoking weed with his friends. The drug use and addiction progressed quickly as he spent time at his friends’ single-parent homes with little supervision. He started smoking in the summer before freshman year of high school and it quickly became a daily habit and lifestyle. Wyatt describes himself at that time as a slave to both weed and to adrenaline (he loved risk taking).
When Wyatt’s parents discovered their son had begun the spiral of addiction, they did what they could to intervene. Wyatt himself wanted to change, but part of him wanted to keep smoking with his friends. This inner conflict led him into the kind of double life many addicts know all too well. With one group of people, he appeared to be a healthy Christian teenager, active in a youth ministry called Young Life. But with a different group, he was becoming entrenched in the drug culture.
Wyatt says in that duplicitous lifestyle there was a lot of deception, both externally and internally. Addicts are notorious for lying to themselves, and of course when you’re lying to yourself you lie to everyone else too. “In order to live both lives, I had to be a deceiver of both sides,” Wyatt said.
One thing Wyatt is thankful for in his life now is the integrity of his identity: “I am very confident in who I have become, of who Jesus told me I am. There’s no more questioning about who I am. I now have many outlets in my life that are in line with my purpose.” Aligning who you are with God’s will and being open and confident in that identity is a blessing that seasoned Christians might take for granted, but for teens there can be a lot of anguish over fears and indecisiveness concerning identity.
“In Young Life I learned a lot about Jesus, but I did not learn a lot about discipleship and accountability… I was a slave to drugs and adrenaline, and as a slave I was not beholding to a Christian lifestyle.”
The Surprising Effect on Family
Having a family member fall into drug addiction and begin to spiral out of control affects the whole family. In Wyatt’s case the eventual effect of his journey was revival in his family. His parents drew close to Jesus and both Wyatt and his brother are now dedicated to the Lord and both have spent years serving God in missions. God turned what satan meant for evil used it to drive two generations of Ledmans into the arms of Jesus.
I talked to Wyatt’s mom about that season of their lives. She said, “I would describe that time period as a holy nearness. Our faith was strong, and we had seen the Lord’s hand guiding our lives and shaping our growing family. But when your child stands at the edge of life and death, beyond your reach, you begin to seek God with a depth of desperation words cannot hold. In fully surrendering Wyatt into His care, and witnessing miracle upon miracle, His love becomes not just known—but deeply felt, almost touchable. A holy nearness unlike anything else.”
When a family chooses to let their fear and suffering bring them closer to the Lord and each other it almost makes the whole experience worth it! As Wyatt and I talked about his story for this article, we marveled at the comedy of it all: Satan tries to take Wyatt out and steal the calling God had on his life by getting him addicted while young. God uses the experience to shake up not only Wyatt but his parents and his brother as well. Ten years later the whole family is still in love with the Lord. Whatever satan does to you, do your best to partner with God to make sure satan regrets it in the end!
But before God could turn it around, the story had to continue progressing and hit a climax. One night Wyatt’s parents prayed to God for their addict son and for direction on what to do. They were considering placement at Teen Challenge Adventure Ranch in Arkansas. That same night, Wyatt went to his job at a bakery while high on Xanax and alcohol. After a rough night at work, his uncle picked him up and knew something was up. Wyatt’s body reacted so severely to the drugs and alcohol that his mom kept her hand on his heart all that night to make sure he was still alive. That was their confirmation that it was time for placement.
"You have a choice Wyatt, you can be a boy, or you can be a man."
July 7, 2014, at 17 years of age, Wyatt was on an intake trip in the woods of Arkansas and heard God speak to him as clear as he’s ever heard Him: “You have a choice, Wyatt, you can be a boy, or you can be a man.”
Wyatt says he was up for the challenge and tried to take God seriously from the get-go. “I tried to take advantage of everything in Teen Challenge whether it was reading the Bible, fishing, rock climbing, car class, doing ministry team, running with a staff who was into track…Over time I learned that discipline leads to the results that I wanted and that God wanted…A human can do anything once they put their mind to it, but if it’s not the direction God is pointing you, it’s not the best option.”
Wyatt pointed out that not all the other boys in the program were motivated, and it can be easy for a teen to conform to the attitude of his peers. But Wyatt said he saw that as an opportunity to lead instead of follow. It’s necessary to differentiate from peers and the choices they are making. If a young man can do that at their boarding school, then they are more likely to do it out in the real world where peer pressure and the lure of belonging to a group through conformity is hard to resist.
Wyatt says he realizes he can’t make those choices for his peers, but he learned that one of the best ways to make a man hungry is to eat right in front of them. Wyatt chose to live his best life in Teen Challenge and that did set a great example that helped some of his peers choose to do better in the program as well. Some of those other boys are still friends with Wyatt and got their lives ironed out. Others are still in their addiction, and a few have passed away.
A Defining Moment
One of the most defining moments of whether Wyatt was going to be a man or a boy involved a hard decision to either stay at TCAR and finish the program or leave and work for a Young Life camp. If a client turns 18 in the program, they struggle with the decision to stay and finish, but Wyatt had even more reason to struggle when a relapse put a kink in his plans.
Wyatt had already passed the first test and made the decision to stay and finish the program. He also had a solid aftercare plan in place: complete the program in May, serve at Young Life summer camps in North Carolina, and then begin YWAM Orlando in the fall. But that plan unraveled when he relapsed on nicotine during his final home pass. At TCAR, any relapse within the last six weeks disqualified a student from graduating on schedule. Wyatt was faced with a choice: pull the “I’m 18” card and leave without finishing to pursue his summer plans or honor the season God had him in and commit to finishing the program completely, including the extra 6 weeks.
It was a difficult decision. On one hand, Wyatt had a solid and meaningful plan—ministry with Young Life over the summer, followed by missions training with YWAM in the fall. How could that be wrong? But on the other hand, he had knowingly broken the rules. When he chose to smoke, he understood the consequences, and it didn’t feel right to avoid the consequences of the decision he made.
Still, it was just a cigar—and ironically, it had been shared with his Young Life leaders. It all seemed so harmless. Yet deep down, Wyatt knew that honoring God, his parents, and the program meant accepting responsibility. Finishing would mean giving up the original plan, staying at TCAR longer, skipping the Young Life camps altogether, and doing the DTS at YWAM in the summer instead of the fall.
I remember being torn up for Wyatt, knowing the struggle of such a little thing messing up such great plans. I too wrestled with my own temptation. As his case manager I was tempted to turn a blind eye and suggest that we let Wyatt graduate on time so he could finish the program and keep his plans.
I was afraid Wyatt was going to leave and not finish, and what a silly thing to keep him here over: it was just a cigar, he confessed it on his own accord, he was tempted by mentors (not hanging with negative peers)…was I really going to watch him withdraw from the program and end on a bad note over this seemingly small thing? Was I going to become an enabler and take away his consequence?
But I understood why it was necessary. For guys with an addictive personality, compromising on one small thing will usually mean a spiral of compromising on other things. People struggling with addiction must come to a place of realizing they cannot get away with compromise – even if others may be able to get away with it.
Wyatt had to see that even though he knew smoking a cigar would mess up his plans and keep him at TCAR, he still was unable to say no to that temptation – whether because he wanted it or because he wanted to please his friends – either way, it was a compromise that later could mean a spiral. Feeling the pain of that decision now at TCAR could save him from a much worse consequence later.
Wyatt struggled with this decision for a week and was leaning toward signing himself out until, during a campout, a staff named David, who is also a former student himself, encouraged Wyatt to finish the program. Wyatt says David was able to get through to him when others could not. Wyatt came to my office after that campout and told me he was choosing to finish the program and go to YWAM in the summer. In that moment I watched a spiritual son die to his flesh and fully surrender to God. After that Wyatt became one of the most alive people I know, and he has lived a life of full surrender since then, and I couldn’t be prouder!
“It was in that last 6 weeks in Teen Challenge that I grew exponentially. Because I had a way out, I didn’t have to be there. When you get to a point where you don’t have to do something, but you do it anyway because you know it is the right thing and you know it is good for you, and you repeat that on a consistent basis, that is the beginning of maturity and wisdom.”
God Lessons
Wyatt had a lot to say about choosing discomfort and how strong you become when you chase what is right over what is comfortable. “I have a comfortable life, but I try to put myself in uncomfortable situations every day, because I learned in those last weeks of TC that if you embrace discomfort, you are able to handle more things which makes you more useful to God. And that is what I believe humans are supposed to be – useful tools for God. So, if there is an option to take the road less traveled and allow yourself to be uncomfortable, your capacity will grow, your longsuffering will grow, and the aspirations you believe for yourself will grow. But if you [habitually] chose comfort and avoid discomfort, your potential diminishes.”
In hindsight, Wyatt even sees going to the summer DTS at YWAM instead of the fall one was potentially a game changer. “There would have been a lot more girls in the Fall DTS and I don’t know what would have happened, but I know what did happen and I am definitely married to the right person.”
After completing Teen Challenge rightly, Wyatt started his Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Youth With a Mission (YWAM) in Orlando. He LOVED it and stayed on with YWAM for 6 years. Wyatt says one thing that was helpful about YWAM is surrounding himself with an overall healthier crowd: “One way to set yourself up for success is to surround yourself with anyone other than the friends you were hanging with before! Also put yourself in a situation where you have a limited amount of freedom and some accountability. YWAM was fantastic. I went straight from TC to YWAM without going home and I wouldn’t have done it any differently.”
It was there that Wyatt met his wife, Emily. YWAM was the perfect place for Wyatt and Emily to grow together, marry, and start their family. While in full-time ministry they lived in a small trailer on the YWAM campus and had their first to kids – Wylder and Lenora. After 6 years at YWAM, Wyatt and Emily decided God was leading them to move to Pennsylvania to be near Emily’s family. Wyatt began to train as a financial planner under Emily’s dad and has moved up in his father-in-law’s company and doing very well for himself. He enjoys helping others steward financial resources in a way that benefits the Kingdom of God.
Today Wyatt is 28 years old. He and Emily have been happily married 6 years. They have had a 3rd child, Wallace.
Wyatt notes that selling out to God leads to both adventure and blessing. Between YWAM and TC, Wyatt has ministered in Haiti, Honduras, Turkey, Lebanon, Spain, Panama, Colombia and all over the US. Wyatt is a big advocate for missions and he and his family still do mission trips. He says, “Doing missions helps you develop eyes that are more and more like God’s eyes.” Sometimes people are slow to sell out to God because they think it’ll be boring. Wyatt has had so much adventure serving God, he can confidently say doing drugs is by far the boring one of the two options!
But Wyatt also noted that it can’t be all about the next big adventure. God IS the big adventure. The life he gave you to live is the adventure – this moment, this season, right now. Whatever you’re doing, be fully in it. Whether it’s 2 weeks of missions or 6 months of grinding at Teen Challenge – be fully in it, all the way to the end. “I stayed at YWAM for 6 years because it was the last thing He told me to do. If you do not have a clear direction from God, you should probably keep doing the last thing He told you to do. It’s easy for young Christians to have a ‘what’s next’ mentality. On one outreach we hit 12 states in 12 weeks. It was lots of traveling. The first week I didn’t unpack my suitcase. But not unpacking was distracting… I decided it was better to unpack at each place I stayed. I pretended this person’s house was my own and settled down even if just for a few days, and that was a game changer. There’s lots of benefits to living life that way. Fully embrace the season you’re in, don’t wait for the next thing. Invest wherever you are. Treat it like you’re going to be there forever. Treat the relationships you have now like they’re the only people you’re ever going to know.”